Breaking information: The sky is falling!

No, it’s simply tigers on the free in Texas, a mother sporting booty shorts, a man proposing with some assist from KFC…. Right here we go:

• A TikTok poster racked up greater than 14 million views along with his distinctive proposal: He hid the ring in a KFC meal. The man begins recording as he and his girlfriend are fortunately picnicking in a park. She grabs one of many Colonel’s biscuits, cracks it open and POW—there sits a diamond ring. Y’all. Can I simply say that my husband is aware of to not conceal jewellery in my meals? That diamond ring would have gone down my gullet as I gulped the biscuit complete. P.S., She stated sure, it’s a beautiful ring, and let’s all hope KFC caters the marriage.

• A porcelain bowl that value $35 at a Connecticut yard sale was really a uncommon, Fifteenth-century Chinese language artifact—and bought at a Sotheby’s public sale for $721,800. Solely six different bowls of its type are identified to exist; none are within the U.S. The small blue-and-white glazed bowl, adorned with a sample of lotus and chrysanthemum blossoms, dates again to the Ming dynasty and sparked a fierce bidding struggle. Funnily sufficient, I purchased an similar bowl at Pier One final yr. It’s the right dimension for ice cream. Beginning bids, anybody? Anybody…?

• In Houston, it’s tiger-1, police-0. Officers caught a person who drove off with a Bengal tiger, however the critter’s nonetheless at massive. A neighbor stated he was consuming dinner when he glanced out his window and noticed the tiger chilling on the garden. As an alternative of yelling, “Assist, I’m hallucinating!” he went out and took images. “It appeared a bit skittish,” he stated, which is like saying a cobra appears to be like somewhat toxic. A deputy responded and drew his weapon. Then one other man—26, out on bond for a homicide charge–rushed out of his home and pleaded with the officer to not shoot. (This man’s lawyer says he doesn’t personal the tiger.) When extra officers arrived, the suspect loaded the tiger right into a white SUV and drove off, as one does with tigers in Texas. The driving force was ultimately caught, however as this goes to press the nine-month-old tiger, named India, was nonetheless footloose and fancy-free, regardless of a widespread search. (All collectively now, “The eyes of Texas are upon us….”) P.S. Proudly owning a tiger in Houston is a Class C misdemeanor with a most $500 nice.

• A mother received kicked out of an Oklahoma Six Flags amusement park for sporting too-short shorts. Judging by the viral video, they WERE too brief, however properly showcased her thigh tattoos. When safety noticed her, they stated she had to purchase longer shorts or depart. Apparently Okie Mother’s garments violated the park’s gown code. As an alternative of claiming, “Sorry my bum’s hanging out,” she responded “with profanity and offensive conduct, together with additional exposing her buttocks,” a Six Flags spokesman stated. She and her household have been ejected “due to her habits in the direction of the police, our staff members, and different park visitors.” The girl then began braying about having autism, being physique shamed and focused, and so forth. as her 11-year-old mortified youngster wept. Mother wasn’t arrested however the household was escorted out, and he or she claimed she was banned for 5 years. All of which begs the query, why did they take her cash on the entrance? And did they refund the ticket prices? The excellent news is, she’s received 5 years to get extra tattoos.

Julie R. Smith, who’s additionally anxious concerning the hen wing scarcity, will be reached at [email protected]

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